In the evening?
I choose not to write,
Choose not to lay.
For with words without tone I do try to convey
But these heards, how they roam, not a sheep left astray.
And I wander, yes, drift, in such a straight way
An empty pond or a ditch will soon form a bay.
These behemoths they roar, giants meander through day.
Trees beneath us, we soar! Fly, me and her, away.
But if I am caught with not a thing left to say,
Then my rope has been taut, coiled and thrown in the fray.
For the search has not won till a needle yields hay.
And a martyr’s undone if from a rope he does sway.
(So Sugar, you are worth this!
Listen to me, please hon’.
Living with no purpose
Beats dying for a reason.)
In the morning?
Dream when you feel right,
Live life, no regrets.
You were an anecdote
To my antecedent.
For no one could note
Just how far we went.
You were the cancer,
I was penicillin.
My drug was no answer
To your adrenaline.
We were at war,
Yes, we were lost lovers.
Searching for more
Hope under the covers.
I was young; I knew all!
But they all failed to mention
How far I would fall
When love was in question.
In late May she spoke,
The temperature scolding.
But the thermometer broke
As my heart started folding
My screams, how they echoed.
Heard by even the deaf.
The Atlantic resembled
The ways that I wept.
Consumed by the pain
And engulfed in failed passion,
My composure regained
In a very frail fashion.
So now I am damaged,
Now I am limping.
Though a lifeboat has managed,
I’ll always be drifting.
Unfollow me if you don’t like poetry. It can get sappy. It can get dark. It can get cliche. It can also get fucking beautiful. This is now.
It’s 4am and I’m the only one sober. My friends are dancing on the living room sofa.
So I just got a hug from my friend. Let’s call him “Garcia”. Anyway, it’s probably the first hug I’ve gotten in nearly a month, and for some strange, materialistic reason, it helped. It helped a lot.
So as a result of that, topped off with me spazzing out to nearly Yellowcard’s entire discography alone in the car today, has really gotten me looking up. My co-workers were right earlier. When people see me, the first thing they think is “this kid is all about music”. And they’re right; I am.
I suppose I even have a -decent- voice in the right light. So fuck it, I’m going to start a punk rock band one day. They say that at a certain point, passion overtakes skill. I’m going to find that point, cross that line, and take an overly-metaphorical shit on anybody who looks at me strangely. I’m going to do it.
Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon, and for the rest of my life. The passion is taking over.
where I’m technically over her but still get somewhat jealous over stupid shit and still feel like I’d start again if she wanted to, yet I’m fully aware that will never happen and she’s definitely already started to find someone else so my holding on is completely pointless, which should in theory make letting go all that much easier but doesn’t because i still kind of like her and we had so much left to do, which i shouldn’t even be thinking about because i’ve been spending so much time thinking about the things i don’t like about her, which should in theory lead to me hating her, at least subconsciously, but it hasn’t yet nor likely ever will get to that point in my head because i’m just not that fucking lucky. emotions, how do they work??
and I’m not sure if I’ll ever stop, nor if these works will ever be published. but gosh it feels so good.
11 of the best days of my life in exchange for 18 of the worst days of my life.
I’m not sure if it’s worth it, but regardless, it’s over now. I’m done feeling sorry for myself.
For now, I’m finally looking up instead of looking back. And it’s a good fucking feeling. My emotions will not become me. I’m stronger than them; I’m smarter than that.
I’m no longer focused on ‘staying posi’. For now and for always, I’m staying me.
I am straight-edge; I control myself.
I am atheist; I guide myself.
I am determined; I push myself.
I am the best in the world at what I do; I won’t waste myself.
I am real; I will never pretend to be what I am not.
I am free.
World, come at me bro.
That won’t be the last time I top.
That won’t be the last time I find love.
That won’t be the last time I see the world.
I won’t let it. It won’t end there. This year is mine.
2011 will probably be the best year I have ever or will ever experience. Take what you will from that; I’m not even sure what I’m getting from it.
Falling in love is one of them; I’m not quite sure what the other two are yet. One day, I presume.